We know facing an another diagnosis of ovarian cancer can lead to a lot of different feelings. Here we provide information and advice on how to cope with some of the emotions you may be experiencing.
It may have been a few months since your initial diagnosis or many years; it may have come completely out of the blue or be something you have been waiting for. Whatever your situation, it does not make it any easier to deal with the shock of hearing that your ovarian cancer has returned.
If you feel well and have no physical symptoms, you may be feeling particularly frustrated at not knowing where the cancer is, or to what extent it has returned. This can lead to you feeling helpless and you may not know how to control your recurrence, which is a very common reaction.
It's normal to try to think of an explanation as to why your cancer has come back. Many people blame themselves and feel guilty that they have let family and friends down. You may feel that you didn't try hard enough, eat the right foods or think positively enough.
None of these are reasons for your cancer's return, so please try not to feel guilty. We still don't fully understand why some cancers return, and why some return years after a woman has finished treatment and others just months after.
When things feel tough
A recurrence of ovarian cancer can affect your mental health and emotional wellbeing as well as your body. It's understandable if you have the odd 'duvet day' when you feel upset. But if this is becoming more common or your emotions are feeling out of control, you may need some extra help.
Coping with feeling alone
One feeling consistently reported by women with ovarian cancer is that they feel isolated. Ovarian cancer is seen as a less common cancer in comparison with breast cancer, for example. Sharing your experience with other women in a similar situation can be helpful.
You can search for a support group near you, or your clinical nurse specialist (CNS) may be able to put you in touch with other women locally if you're keen to meet others who've experienced what you're going through.
If support groups don't appeal to you, you might want to think about getting support in other ways. There are a variety of online communities, telephone support lines and professional therapies available, all of which might help you to feel more in control and less isolated. Even reading about other women's experiences might be beneficial. Find out more about these and other sources of support.
We run online and face-to-face support events all over the UK for women who have been affected by ovarian cancer to meet each other and share their experiences. Stay in touch with us to hear about future events.
Dealing with fear
Fear has been described as the most crushing side effect of having a diagnosis of recurrent cancer.
One of the greatest fears is that the cancer will shorten your life. You may find yourself preoccupied with your past life, with regrets of what you have still not achieved. It can be difficult to deal with these thoughts and the emotions that go with them, and you may feel drained.
However, it may be possible to resolve some of these feelings by perhaps making contact with someone you have fallen out with, or doing some of the things you have always wanted to. Many people report that the intense feelings of fear felt at the time of their recurrence do become more bearable with time.
If you find you are feeling constantly agitated and anxious you may benefit from some psychological support from a professional. They will be able to help you with strategies for dealing with difficult thoughts.
Fear is a very understandable emotion but it may be possible to resolve some of these feelings. Your CNS can help you understand which fears are real and which are not, or can refer you for further support. Many people report that the intense feelings of fear felt at the time of their recurrence do become more bearable with time.
Facing treatment again
Facing a future involving lots of cancer treatments is not something that anyone looks forward to but, with experience, you will develop coping strategies to help you get through it.
Set small, achievable goals
Plan pleasant activities in between treatment. You will experience periods between treatment of feeling well and living an ordinary life.
Accept offers of help
Facing treatment again can be particularly difficult having experienced it before. You may dread the physical changes brought about by the treatment, particularly hair loss and fatigue. The extent that you dread the treatment can depend on your experience the first time around, so make sure to discuss any concerns with your CNS or oncologist, who will do all they can to alleviate your fears or anxieties.
If you're the type of person who wanted information after your initial diagnosis then it's likely you'll want lots more now. It's understandable that you will want to explore every avenue and most people look for any new treatments that might be available. This can be time consuming and exhausting. Always remember that you can discuss your treatment with your medical team. It's okay to ask questions and share your opinion and experience of a treatment.
It's also very common for people to feel that they would like to explore complementary therapies at this time. This can give you a greater sense of control. It's always wise to discuss any complementary treatments with your medical team.
Our expert mini guide can answer your questions about the use of complementary therapies after an ovarian cancer diagnosis, including what complementary therapies are, the difference between complementary and alternative therapies, and how and where you can find out more. Read 'Ovarian cancer and complementary therapies' [PDF]or order a copy.
Most hospitals have links with a local cancer support centre, which might offer a range of therapies on site for free.
Cancer Research UK has detailed information about each therapy on its website.
Therapy Directory connects you with a qualified therapist most suited to your needs. All the therapists on the website have shown proof of qualifications and/or membership with a professional body. They list many therapies from aromatherapy to reflexology.
Worrying about pain
You may be afraid that the cancer treatment will not be able to control the disease and that you may experience severe pain. If this is one of your fears, be sure to talk to your CNS or oncologist as soon as possible.
Most people do not experience severe pain and most pain can be controlled with regular painkillers.
As well as physical discomfort, pain can make you suffer more stress and a lower mood, so it's important not to suffer in silence.
Ups and downs
Some people describe coping with recurrent cancer as living in limbo. You may feel that life will never be the same again and at this stage you can't imagine ever getting back to normal. It's also not uncommon to find that your mood flits from worry about the future to feeling hopeful and positive.
These fluctuations are very common as you begin to digest the information you've been given. You may find it hard to believe but many women come to accept that their ovarian cancer treatment has become part of their lives and they continue their usual activities, despite ongoing treatment.
It can be difficult balancing family and friends with the demands of your ovarian cancer and personal time. Women often put themselves at the bottom of their list of priorities so try to remember to do some things you enjoy, whether that's going for a walk or spending time with the people you are closest to.
Please remember that there is no right or wrong way to feel.
This information is reviewed regularly and is in line with accepted national and international guidelines. All of our publications undergo an expert peer review and are reviewed by women with ovarian cancer to ensure that we provide accurate and high-quality information. To find out more take a look at our information standards.