My mother Jackie was diagnosed with stage 4 ovarian cancer in 2012. She died seven years later.
The people who are left behind grieve and deal with the loss which is so hard. Running helped me and I've made a lifetime of memories in the last year in my mum’s memory. It’s something good that came out of something awful.
My mum
Mum was 52 when she was diagnosed with ovarian cancer. I can honestly say she was the perfect mum. She was caring, selfless and always looked after us. We all feel lucky to have had such a good mum.
When mum was diagnosed, we knew that she’d be really poorly during treatment so I moved nearer to her to spend more time with her and to support her. Treatment worked well initially and mum responded well to chemo. She lost her hair and wore a wig which I know was tough for her as a hairdresser.
At the time of her diagnosis, mum was told she had 18 months to live. Fortunately she was with us for another seven years through the help of new treatment on offer and family support.
She took her last breath in September 2019. It was just a week after my sister’s wedding, which she watched on TV with a smile as she was too ill to travel to the French venue. They got married in England before they flew out to France so mum could be there. This was a massive deal and we’re so happy she was able to have that time.
My wife was also heavily pregnant at the time, so it was a case of waiting to see who was going to be born or die first. She died a few weeks before my son William was born, and we named him William Jacque in her memory.
Watching the positivity my mum carried throughout and especially in her last few days was quite incredible and inspiring. She was so ill and couldn’t walk or get out of bed unaided, but despite this she always remained happy, positive and as selfless as ever.
Running
I found running a huge help to get my head around the grief. It let me burn off energy and have thinking time. I knew I wanted to do something productive, so I decided to take on my own challenge to raise some money to hopefully improve earlier diagnosis. I knew I wanted to help fund awareness and research to help cure this disease so everyone has their daughters, mothers and nans around for longer.
The challenges I took will never match up to my mother’s but I decided to run the Marathon Des Sables. It’s about as tough a race as you can hope to enter, described as the toughest foot race on earth but I knew it couldn’t be as tough as losing my mum.
I ended up running it during a heatwave which was so surreal. I was injured within the first 10km on day one, and I wasn’t sure whether I would be able to complete it. But I stumbled through and walked a lot – I couldn’t help but want to persevere because of the promise I'd made and the money I’d raised.
By day four I had to force my body to keep moving. It was the longest day of the challenge, a double marathon. My shoes had split and were letting sand in but I made it back to camp and read the messages of support I was receiving which kept me going.
The next day I finished and in the middle of the Sahara desert, I found out my wife Helen was pregnant with our second child Emily. It was an unforgettable day.
Climbing Everest
Climbing Everest followed six months later. When it came around it was mentally tougher and was harder on the body because of the lack of oxygen and ice cold temperatures. It was incredibly hard but I did it.
A little later, a friend sent me a link to an article about someone who had broken a world record by completing the Marathon Des Sables, Everest climb and swam the channel – it took them 16 years.
I knew I wanted to set my own world record so decided to solo sea kayak across the North channel from Scotland to Ireland. This was like no other challenge I'd done. I was all on my own as opposed to the others where there were support workers, and people to give you food. It was such a raw challenge.
Setting a world record
The night before was terrifying as the weather was awful. I didn’t sleep well and started to question whether I could do it. I had to set off in the dark and navigated myself with a compass on front of my kayak. I felt so small in the ocean but knowing no one had completed the three challenges within that time spurred me on.
By the end I was so exhausted but just off the Irish coast I saw a massive pod of dolphins, it was so special to see at a time I was so tired and it spurred me on to finish it.
This meant I completed all three challenges in under 12 months becoming the first person to do so in such a time. I’ll never say no to more adventures, but I'm so pleased to have completed this.
Fundraising for Target Ovarian Cancer
I've now raised over £10,000 for Target Ovarian Cancer. Raising that amount of money is massive for me. You feel like you need to do something to contribute to the cause, and because my mum was misdiagnosed, Target Ovarian Cancer’s work called out to me. That was my main driver, as well as making my mum proud.
In preparation for the challenges, I took part in Run For Mum with my dad, sister and her husband. It brought us all together which feels like a mother's role – to gel the family. It was so nice to emulate that for a good cause and to take part as a family to remember her on Mother’s Day.
You can keep up with Adam’s challenges and fundraising by following @ad_the_adventurous_dad on Instagram!
If you’ve been affected by this story and would like to speak to a specialist nurse, you can call our dedicated support line on 020 7923 5475 or contact us: [email protected]. We're open from 9am until 5pm, Monday to Friday.
If reading this story has helped you, join the Ovarian Cancer Community to connect with more people affected by ovarian cancer: www.targetovariancancer.org.uk/onlinecommunity
