Your feelings

Some people describe coping with recurrent cancer as living in limbo because it can feel like an uncertain situation you can’t control. It is common to find that your mood changes regularly from worry about the future to feeling hopeful and positive as you begin to take in the information you have been given. These fluctuations are very common as you begin to digest the information you've been given.

You may feel that life will never be the same again and at this stage you can't imagine ever getting back to normal. You may find it hard to believe, but many people come to accept that the cancer has become part of their lives. They continue their usual activities, despite ongoing treatment. Having a sense of normality is very important and can help you feel a little more in control.

It may have been a few months since you were first diagnosed with ovarian cancer or it may have been many years. It may have come completely out of the blue or be something you’ve been waiting for. Whatever your situation, it doesn’t make it any easier to deal with the shock of hearing that your ovarian cancer has returned. You may be feeling a whole range of different emotions, such as overwhelmed, shocked or angry. If you feel well and have no physical symptoms, you may be feeling particularly frustrated at not knowing where the cancer is, or to what extent it has returned. This can lead to you feeling helpless and out of control, which is a very common reaction.

It's normal to try to think of an explanation as to why your cancer has come back. You might blame yourself and feel guilty that you have let family and friends down. You may feel that you didn't try hard enough, eat the right foods or think positively enough. None of these are reasons for the cancer's return.

A recurrence is hard mentally. I got some counselling privately and that helped. It taught me mindfulness, how to go to my safe happy place, visualisation and gratitude, which did help when I was going through a tough spot. I like to research, and to find stories of hope. People recommended books, some of which I found helpful. Finding what helps you cope is very personal. I took what worked and made sense to me and forgot the rest.
Sarah

Dealing with fear

Some women have described fear as the most difficult side effect of having recurrent ovarian cancer. You may be frightened about where or why the cancer has come back. You may be worried about going through treatment again. Some people are scared that the cancer will shorten your life. You may find yourself thinking over your past or having regrets about things you haven’t managed to do yet. It can be difficult to deal with these thoughts and the emotions that go with them. They can make you feel very drained.

Emotional fatigue is the exhaustion you may feel when you use lots of emotional energy. Emotional fatigue is different to tiredness, which is easier to recover from by resting. You may feel exhausted or flat and it may impact your mood. If you feel this way, it may help to arrange for extra practical or emotional support.

You may be afraid that the treatment will not be able to control the cancer or that you may be in a lot of pain. It’s unlikely that you will experience very bad pain. Most pain can be controlled with regular painkillers. If these are some of your fears, be sure to talk to your CNS or oncologist as soon as possible so they can help you.

Fear is a very understandable emotion. Activities that hold your attention and help you be present in the moment have been shown to help reduce feelings of fear and anxiety. These are known as flow state activities. Different people have different activities which help them to enter a state of flow. Making extra time for these activities may help you to manage and process distressing news, thoughts and emotions. Some examples of flow states activities are:

Gardening
Painting or drawing
Solving puzzles
Reading or writing
Playing an instrument
Practicing yoga

If you find you’re feeling constantly restless, tense or anxious, you find it helpful to have some professional support. This can help you to understand and manage your emotions. Your CNS can help you understand your fears or can put you in touch with other health professionals for further support. Many people say that the intense feelings of fear they feel at the time of the recurrence do get easier to deal with over time.

Back here again

A guide for anyone whose ovarian cancer has come back.

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Facing treatment again

Facing a future involving lots of cancer treatments isn’t something that anyone looks forward to but, with experience you will find ways to cope. Set small, achievable goals and plan pleasant activities in between treatment.

Facing treatment again can be particularly difficult having experienced it before. You may dread the physical changes brought about by the treatment, particularly hair loss and fatigue. The amount that you dread the treatment can depend on your experience the first time around. If you found your primary (first) chemotherapy treatment very distressing, or hated a particular side effect, then make sure you talk to your doctors and nurses about this.

If you're the type of person who wanted information after your initial diagnosis then it's likely you'll want even more now. It's understandable that you’ll want to explore every option and look for any new treatment that might be available. This can be time-consuming and exhausting. Always remember that you can discuss your treatment with the medical and nursing team. It's OK to ask questions and share your opinion and experience of your treatment.

It’s easy to say, don’t google, but everybody does. Try not to, but if you do, take everything you see online with a massive pinch of salt because it’s old news, especially with how new treatments for ovarian cancer are progressing. Many treatments we have now weren’t available 10 years ago so the stats that you see are no longer representative of what you can expect.
Sarah

Complementary therapies

It's also very common to feel that you would like to find out more about complementary therapies at this time. Complementary therapies are treatments that are carried out by trained practitioners that complement your medical treatment. They can give you a greater sense of control but it's always important to talk to your treatment team about any complementary treatments.

Complementary therapies

Find out more about the use of complementary therapies after an ovarian cancer diagnosis, including what complementary therapies are, the difference between complementary and alternative therapies, and how and where you can access services.

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Support for you

A recurrence of ovarian cancer can affect your mental health and emotional wellbeing as well as your body. It may take some time to accept the news that the cancer has come back. It is understandable if you have the odd day when you feel upset and overwhelmed. But if this is becoming more common, or your emotions are feeling out of control, you may need some extra support.

When we feel upset, frightened or hopeless it can seem impossible to explain these feelings to others or to ask for help. You might feel that you shouldn’t bother your CNS or GP with your feelings. But it is important to look after yourself emotionally as well as physically. Let someone know if you are struggling. There is help available.

There are lots of ways Target Ovarian Cancer can support you

Call our free, nurse-led support line and you’ll speak directly to a specialist nurse. Our specialist nurse team have supported thousands of people just like you. Whether you need practical information, advice or just a listening ear, our specialist nurses are here for you. Call us today: 0808 802 6000 (freephone)
Join our online community. Our two private Facebook groups are supportive and helpful places to connect with others who understand.
Sign up to our online support events. From diet and nutrition tips to updates on new treatments, yoga and relaxation classes to having a virtual cup of tea and a chat, there is lots to explore. Our support events also offer you the chance to meet leading experts as well as others affected by ovarian cancer. To watch our previous events back at a time that suits you, visit our Wellbeing playlist or Ask the Experts playlist on YouTube
Find a support group or cancer centre near you using our online directory. Simply being around people who know what you’re going through can help. Your clinical nurse specialist (CNS) may also be able to put you in touch with others locally.